


for now

by wishfulmish



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Episode: s11e12 Don't You Forget About Me, F/F, First Kiss, Wayward Daughters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 17:05:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5936227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishfulmish/pseuds/wishfulmish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was silence for a moment, save for the tapping of keys as Claire hit random letters. Then Alex stepped further into the room, and this time, spoke with much less hesitation. “Did you really think I hated you?”</p>
<p>A coda to 11x12.</p>
            </blockquote>





	for now

She’d dreaded Alex ever seeing the cat. Alex would call her a kid despite the fact Claire was older, laugh off her failed attempts at hunting as attention seeking, tantrums. Belittle her on the one thing she had. Claire wasn’t sure which was worse, this open hostility or the kindness Jody was constantly trying to show her; in any case, neither made her feel welcome. Neither made her feel at home.

So yeah, she wasn’t gonna give Alex something to use as more ammo. She’d kept it in her room, tucked beneath the bed during daylight hours, not that anyone else came in here anyway.

At least, until tonight.

She kept her eyes on her laptop despite the fact her current window was only open on the Google home page, desperate to look anywhere apart from the doorway. She didn’t have to move her gaze in order to feel Alex shift awkwardly, and it wasn’t hunting senses that alerted her to it.

Alex coughed a little. Claire continued to stare.

“That was pretty nice,” she said, and Claire finally chanced a look at her. “With the, uh…decapitation.” She slashed her hand across her throat.

Claire shrugged one shoulder. “You weren’t too bad yourself.”

There was silence for a moment, save for the tapping of keys as Claire hit random letters. Then Alex stepped further into the room, and this time, spoke with much less hesitation. “Did you really think I hated you?”

Claire paused.

_Are you fucking kidding me?_ she wanted to say – no, scream. _Of course I did! You’ve been nothing but hostile towards me since day one!_ But she didn’t, because she got it, sort of. Alex and Jody had found their balance, began to carve up an unusual yet seemingly functional familial relationship, and here she was, spanner in the works, messing up as always. She had no place, not here, not anywhere. Her eyes fell back to the stuffed cat, and she sighed, closing the laptop. “I guess. You didn’t give me much reason not to.”

Alex snorted in disbelief, raising an eyebrow. “Really? ‘Cause I could say the same about you.”

Claire frowned. “What?”

“Well, you clearly didn’t wanna be here. You acted like you’d been caged in, or something.” She shrugged lightly, but couldn’t hide the look that flashed behind her eyes – if Claire didn’t know any better, she’d call it hurt. “But then…guess that was me when Jody first took me on.” Alex let out a soft breath, and unfolded her arms, walking towards the bed. “I get if you don’t like me, and if you wanna hightail it out of here, okay?” The mattress dipped as she sat down. “I’ve done bad shit. What Jody said –”

“Was right,” Claire finished, and Alex looked up at her in shock. Claire rolled so she was in a sitting position, looking at Alex head-on. Her hand went unconsciously to her neck as she remembered the sheer pain of teeth like daggers puncturing the skin, but also the raw horror and fear in the face of the girl before her, as she offered herself up to that life all over again. “You’re good, Alex. What happened with your nest –” and here Alex winced, and Claire thought, great, she’d fucked up, but it was over with so fast she wondered if she’d imagined it, “- it doesn’t mean anything. Hell, I’m the dictionary of regretful decisions.”

Alex smiled a little then. She’d smiled around him, around Henry, and maybe that was why Claire had felt such hatred towards him. She’d told herself she’d sensed something off about him all along, but really, she could recognise jealously easily enough. She’d never made Alex smile like that.

Alex’s eyes wandered to the Grumpy Cat, and Claire found herself looking at it, too. Monsters may have destroyed her family – or rather, angels, but at the time she’d seen no difference – but Alex’s family had been nothing but. While she was training with Jody, learning this life, Alex was trying her best to scramble as far away from it as possible. And Claire couldn’t blame her.

But these were her only options now. Cas couldn’t fill the void he’d created, no matter how much he’d tried. There were days when her anger at him would flare hot in her chest, and she’d have to struggle to breath. And then days when he’d text her, a picture of some wildlife, a few emojis, a simple, ‘How are you?’ and Claire could pretend this goofy angel hadn’t ruined her life. For a few, blissful seconds, she could pretend.

Come to think about it, he hadn’t texted her in a while.

And then there was Jody, who would’ve died for Claire. She barely knew her. She wasn’t worth dying for. And yet when the vamp came, she’d been prepared to do it anyway.

Which left…Alex.

“I don’t wanna chase you out of your own house.” Claire gestured to the walls, the weapons, the lore books and papers. “I should be the one getting out of here when I’m ready.”

Alex shook her head, dark hair sliding over her shoulders. Claire licked her lips a little. “This is your place now, too. I’m not chasing you out either. I’ve just gotta…” She took a breath. “I’ve gotta figure things out.”

Claire nodded slowly. Through the walls, she could hear Jody humming as she made them dinner. Her mom and dad had done the same, usually something hymn-like, though Jimmy Novak had always had a secret fondness for Bon Jovi. Jody didn’t seem to be humming anything in particular, just abstract notes.

“Me too.” One day, she would. Right now, she had a room. She had four walls, and a roof, and these two people, who meant something to her. She could figure stuff out, eventually. For now, she was almost content.

Alex shifted, and Claire realised they were a lot closer than she’d thought. Alex had the sort of eyes that softened when they weren’t being rolled, making her pretty easy to read. Right now, they were staring directly into Claire’s.

Her face was still bruised, but healing, and so it only stung a little when their mouths met. This was the sort of thing Jody hadn’t got round to talking to them about, and Claire hadn’t brought it up. She’d thought of maybe mentioning it to Dean, but then again, she doubted he’d got it figured out himself.

Alex’s hand came up to hold the back of her head. The kiss was clumsy, and awkward, and impending ever since that moment in the abandoned pool building. Alex smelled like sweat and lavender.

Their session was cut short by Jody’s call of “Dinner’s ready!” They broke apart just as quickly as they’d come together, breathing a little heavy, and Claire wasn’t sure where the hell they were supposed to go from here.

Luckily, Alex was a little more composed. She held out a hand. “Come on,” she said, beckoning with her fingers, and after a moment’s hesitation, Claire took it.

She left the room, cat lying on the bed, laptop charging, and went to join her new family for dinner, hand in Alex’s the whole time.

**Author's Note:**

> also posted on [tumblr](http://wishfulmish.tumblr.com/post/138827097155/for-now-a-11x12-coda)


End file.
